Some days it just seems so hard to stay out of the doldrums and find some peace with all of this. I'm really not the Pollyanna type...there's a certain denial of reality you must do to be happy go lucky with a knife at your throat. I get scared, I weep and rage and wish so much that this lot were not mine to bear. When I can keep myself from the future visits I am more able to find peace. Best to stay right here in this moment cuz this I can handle and this moment usually has some blessing if I will step inside of it.
Avi and I are both unhappy with how dr. Caton just ignored the tumor counts going up. I could stay angry at him and wonder how much damage has been done by not getting on it sooner but it's a waste of my energy. I need to forgive it and let it go. I'm glad we're with a new doc and I'm hoping this new chemo will work.
Go ahead and send your devotional book. I will read it and think of you reading it at the same time. Perhaps there will be something to lift my spirits when I need it.
I had a steak burrito for dinner tonight from taco time...I was craving moms pot roast, with roasted carrots, onions and tomatoes. That was the closest I could come. We may just have to make pot roast soon.
Well...it's raining for the first day in several weeks. We've had such beautiful fall weather I won't complain. However, I should have picked all the raspberries this mornin. I picked just enough to have on my cereal and I'm afraid the rain probably knocked them all off. That plant has been a great producer
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